Topic: quote for the day (Read 14679 times)

Paul · « **Reply #30 on:** September 21, 2009 »

"First Learn to heal before you learn to hurt!"

Wolf_Larson · « **Reply #31 on:** September 30, 2009 »

Father Dougal: I know! Well lure them into a giant bingo game!
Father Ted: And how are we going to do that?
Father Dougal: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and... oh.
Father Ted: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all.
Father Dougal: Damn. So near, yet so far.

Mrs Doyle: What would you say to a cup father?
[offers him a cup of tea]
Father Jack Hackett: FECK OFF, CUP!

Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.
Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would need proof if you were going to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!
Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.
Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... you certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?
Father Ted: Yes, I... well... if you're going to be... of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!

Father Ted: Come on, Dougal, switch the television off. Chewing gum for the eyes!
Father Dougal: No thanks, Ted!

Father Ted: What was that sermon about?
Father Dougal: Sorry Ted, I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

Father Ted: You won't be able to come with me... when I go into space. I'm going to be the first priest in space.
Father Dougal: God Ted, first America then space, what next?

Father Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
[he points to some plastic cows on the table]
Father Ted: are very small; those
[pointing at some cows out of the window]
Father Ted: are far away...

Father Ted: Oh, yes... what was it called...?
Father Dougal: "Out Of Africa", I think. Anyway, your man has the head of the fly and he's chasing his wife all over the place and she's hiding the jam and everything so he won't get stuck in it...
Father Ted: I'll have to stop you there, Dougal.
Father Dougal: Yes, Ted?
Father Ted: No reason. I just have to stop you.

Bishop Facks: So, Father. Do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested? Anything you would be worried about? Any doubts you've been having about any aspects of belief? Anything like that?
Father Dougal: Well, you know the way God made us all, right? And he's looking down at us from heaven and everything?
Bishop Facks: Uh-huh.
[nods]
Father Dougal: And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that?
Bishop Facks: Yes.
Father Dougal: And when we die we're all going to go to heaven?
Bishop Facks: Yes. What about it?
Father Dougal: Well, that's the bit I have trouble with.

[Dougal is holding the front panel of a TV up to his face]
Father Jack Hackett: What's that gobshite doing on the television?

Dougal: (trying to pray) Hail Mary who art in heaven.......
Ted: Hallowed.
Dougal: Oh yeah. Hallowed Be....
Ted: Thy Name...
Dougal: Papa Don't Preach........
Ted: Dougal, you know you can praise the lord with sleep.
Dougal: Really Ted? You can praise him in lots of ways, like that time you said that I could praise him just by leaving the room.
Ted: Yes, that was a good one !

Father Jack Hackett: Drink!
Father Ted Crilly: You won't find any there father. I put it somewhere very safe.
Father Jack Hackett: Where?
[We see all of Father Jack's alchahol hidden in a cave on Craggy Island's coast]

[Pointing at the various items he is naming]
Father Jack Hackett: Chair... curtains... floor...
[Points at Ted]
Father Jack Hackett: Gobshite!

Father Jack Hackett: What? Priests? Don't tell me I'm still on that feckin' island!

[Father Jack sobers up and looks at Dougal and Ted]
Father Jack Hackett: Where are the other two?

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Author Topic: quote for the day (Read 14679 times)

Paul

Re: quote for the day

Wolf_Larson

Re: quote for the day

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